A new superhero

I have been inspired by the events in Japan to create a new superhero.

Our mild-mannered, slightly nerdy, protagonist is freakishly exposed to a blast of radiation. His skin tingles, his hair falls out, he starts shaking uncontrollably. He becomes...

... Dead.

This, of course, sets things up for a sequel, where a mysterious voodoo priest digs him out of the ground and turns him into a Super Zombie. By day he is a writer for News Corp's Daily Telegraph, eating out his reader's brains, an unsatisfying task considering the small size of them. At night... Well, you will need to buy the comic book for that.

Beauty is in the processor of the camera

As I predicted would happen to digital cameras, Panasonic's new FX-78 model includes a recording mode to deemphasise skin blemishes and a retouch function which includes teeth whitening and various cosmetics application to the photo.

How long until an automatic version of this is made compulsory for all paparazzi cameras?

Stand up for an ignorant Australia

I hate Australian politics, but at least it's better than Libya's right now. Here's a song for Tony Abbott's next election campaign.

Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

A place where all our wealth
Comes from digging up the earth
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Workers rights are out the door
Big business always needs more
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Your income will be free
To pay all of Mac Bank’s fees
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For in Ignorant Australia

Where watching a Current Affair
Will fill your head with hot air
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Say no to the married gay
Let the church have its way
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

It was hotter in Jesus’ day
If you’re flooded then kneel and pray
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

If it’s green then cut it down
We prefer the colour brown
[Unless his name is Bob]
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Better for you to be dead
Than be called a tech head
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Say no to an NBN
What’s wrong with a ballpoint pen?
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Never having to say sorry
We’ll rewrite history, don’t you worry
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

We’ll stop the boats
Of terrorists and their goats
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Our border cops will stop the lot
Send them back to be shot
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Except for Pommies, they’re just fine
Although they gave us Bodyline
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

We support the rights
Of all our frightened whites
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

Our policies come from Alan Jones
And his callers on the phones
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia

All that you need to know
Is tucked up inside my Speedos
Stand up for an ignorant Australia
Stand up! For an Ignorant Australia